Sundays are a time filled with joy. People relish them as they’re one of the few days they get to actually create their lives. As such, there can be a lot of pressure when deciding what to do on one of your few precious days of creation (read: freedom).
On one particular Sunday, I was feeling very proud of myself for having woken up at 7:30am. My wonderful teammate at work suggested I take the day to rest, since on Monday we were hosting a large zoom call for many people and it would be very intense.
I set forth with infinite ideas rolling around in my head. The day ahead was filled with delightful options, and I was inspired. But the more I started to think about what I could do, the more I became filled with anxiety about what I should do. What would be the most fun? What if I chose the wrong thing? I started to become very anxious and overwhelmed by the possibilities.
I love lists, so I decided to make one. Then I got a reminder on my phone to post something on Instagram for my boss. I opened the app and went to search her page, noticing the suggested pages that popped up in the search section. One of them was Millie Bobby Brown’s page. Out of curiosity I began to scroll through her pictures. It was not a good idea.
They were fabulous! My immediate thought was, “What the fuck, she’s like 15..” And then I became aware of everyone else’s thoughts when looking at these pictures. There was lots of jealousy (which implies that you can’t create what the other person has, by the way, and is not true!), people comparing themselves to her and thinking “I hate myself.” My anxiety started to sink into self-judgment.
Man, I’m not doing any of that. Why aren’t I famous? Why don’t I get to walk the red carpet in Louis Vutton? What am I supposed to do to, wear a ball gown to the grocery store? I’m already 25, I’ve wasted so much time not doing these things!
I promptly added ‘feel like shit about yourself’ and ‘waste your Sunday with crippling indecision’ to the list. Because they are both very real options, and I could totally choose them if I wanted to. But then I took a step back and remembered that judging myself never creates what I want it to. And I also remembered that Instagram is a bunch of crap.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m quite sure Millie Bobby Brown is living her best life and her feed really is a highlight reel of those moments. And I have two things to say about that: 1. What if we let that inspire us to create greater in our own lives instead of using it to make ourselves feel like shit? And 2. For most of us, Instagram is a bunch of lies that leaves out all of the hardship we really do deal with on a regular basis.
If people were actually realistic about what their lives look like – especially the people with beautiful and envious lives – it would include a lot of very hard work and a lot of real talks with themselves in the mirror. You have to be very honest with yourself to create lasting change, and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.
So I reminded myself that, but I still had no idea what to choose on my lovely and terrifyingly open Sunday. And then I became inspired to write this post.
Have you heard of the Sunday Scaries? I never had before my friend’s sister enlightened me. It is something millions of people feel every week – on the one day they have to choose whatever they’d like, it ends with dreading a new work week.
And when I say create your life, I don’t mean creating the entire thing in one day. I mean being conscious about what you would really like to choose and have in your life, as well as, 1. How to get there and 2. What your choices create. If you’re saying you’d really like to live a healthier lifestyle but you’re going out and getting trashed every Saturday night, that may not be the best choice in creating that lifestyle. (But I’ve been there, and if that’s working for you, who cares what I say?)
The Sunday Scaries are, in my opinion, a product of larger issues with the average American work life. Maybe you feel like this doesn’t apply to you and you get Saturday too, or maybe you even feel like I’m superior as fuck for implying any of this and you get to do whatever you want all the time. Then by all means, excuse me, continue to live your life.
But if you do feel like you only have a limited amount of time to do whatever it is you really enjoy, wouldn’t you rather use this day to give yourself what you would TRULY like to have, rather than what you think you should put on Instagram?
In conclusion:
What if you gave yourself the allowance to do whatever it is you actually desire to do? This doesn’t mean slip into the sleep-filled throes of depression you’ve been working really hard to get out of. This doesn’t mean to check out or throw all your goals out the window. But what if instead of doing what you have the point of view you’re supposed to be doing, you do what you want?
For example, you’d like to get some sun, so you think you should go to the pool for your Snapchat story but you actually dread the idea of being around people at all costs today and you could also just lay in the sun in your backyard and achieve the same effect.
What if you used your Sunday to be kind to you? If that means reading and meditating, FUCK YEAH DO IT. And if that means watching a movie and taking a nap, what if that’s okay too? What if that’s what would create the most for you? Are you actually willing to look at what would be kind to you on this glorious seventh day?
I invite you to use your day of freedom to not judge yourself. I have no idea what I’m going to do next, but I am hungry, so I think I’ll start with that. And whatever you do, don’t have fun.. Sundays aren’t for that 😉